Highlights for Know What You Want
- What DO you want? (0:30)
- What’s holding you back? (1:20)
- On feeling flawed and fat (2:20)
- How do you want to feel? (3:45)
- This week’s challenge (4:50)
- The next step for your vision board (5:45)
Know What You Want
In last week’s post, I talked about smashing the “new year, new you” drum that’s beating every January and beginning to think about what you want.
So, what do you want?
I mean really want…
What DO You Want?
Many times, when we talk about what we want, we end up listing all the things that we don’t want – this was a light bulb moment I had recently during a conversation with a brilliant friend of mine.
Why do we do that?
Listing all the things we don’t want is like asking for what we don’t want to happen – your intentions follow your attention.
You get what you are speaking about, even if what we’re speaking about is from a negative point of view; we’re still focused on what we don’t want, so let’s flip that around…
So, what DO you want?
To lose weight?
To have an enjoyable job?
A home, a sports car, incredible vacations…?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
What’s Holding You Back?
What’s holding you back from having exactly what you want?
Do you even know…?
For me, many years ago, it was having a negative body image. I didn’t feel good about myself, so I didn’t put myself out there in a meaningful way.
Instead, I faked it.
I pretended that I was living my life to the fullest, but I was hiding, flying below the radar, secretly hoping to go unnoticed because if I were to get noticed, people would find out that I was flawed and fat.
Well, the fat thing I wasn’t hiding very well, as you can’t really hide that kind of thing…
But I was hiding my dreams, my disappointments, my fears, and my life … and I was hiding from everything, too.
Clearly, I wasn’t living my best life, and I thought if I could just lose weight, then I would have it all, and I would have it all figured out.
I knew the magic pill didn’t exist, but damn, the weight would not come off! Hiding was the next best thing.
On Feeling Flawed and Fat
Being flawed is hard.
I had lived my entire life to be as perfect as I could, in as many ways as I could – damn near close to straight As, a scholarship to college, excellent work performance, a nice, accommodating, and pleasant demeanor, I didn’t really stand up for myself the way I could have or should have.
I lived in constant fear that someone would call me out for being flawed and fat. Or basically, for being human. The worst thing I thought I could be was flawed and fat – and I was both!
That didn’t leave me anywhere to go except further into hiding.
I was my own worst enemy. I told myself all the time that I wasn’t good enough, and my brain was always searching for evidence that was true. The evidence was mounting, and there was no way out.
One day, my coach told me that I had unrealistic expectations for myself, and they were fueled by all of the messages around me from birth until that moment … and that day was the beginning of my new way of thinking.
She gave me some homework to begin to think about how to shift my beliefs, and that started the discovery of the person I am today.
I am still flawed and fat by our society’s standards…
But not by my own.
How Do You Want to Feel?
I am an amazing person, and I do amazing things. The size of my pants will not determine how I feel about myself, and the way other people feel about me is absolutely none of my business.
I get to choose how I want to feel about myself, and so do you!
So, how do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning?
I want to feel grateful for being alive, and I want to align to my highest purpose and potential.
What do you need to do to feel this, or however it is that you want to feel?
You need to make a conscious decision to stop believing all the negative things going through your head about yourself, your body, your abilities, your intelligence, your work performance, etc.
If your beliefs are hurting you … then they’re lies!
The truth feels like freedom! Lies hurt.
If what you’re telling yourself in your head is hurtful, then it’s a lie. You have a choice to stop believing it at any moment you choose.
This Week’s Challenge
Here’s a challenge for you: Make a list of 10 things that are amazing about you.
Report back to me and let me know how it feels to make a list of goodness about yourself.
This is one of the first steps to putting yourself on the path to claiming your own greatness and claiming whatever your next priority is. It all starts with your own self-worth!
If you believe you’re amazing – then you are amazing!
If you believe that you’re unworthy – then you will feel unworthy!
(Notice how I said you would feel unworthy? I didn’t say you are unworthy because you’re not unworthy. How do I know? Because you’re alive, and that alone makes you worthy!)
The Next Step for Your Vision Board
Now, back to the vision board we started last week…
Do you have your images from last week?
Look through them again … do they make you feel empowered, strong, hopeful, or another positive feeling you’re going for? If they don’t, toss ‘em! If they do, put them on your board.
When you’re putting your images on your vision board:
- Remember to talk to yourself about how amazing you are and how these images support your amazingness.
- Keep your mind focused on how you want to feel.
- You can include pictures of people you love and want to continue having in your life. (Make sure these people are Energizers and not Energy-Drainers.)
Hang your finished vision board somewhere you will see it all the time to remind you of where you’re going.
Remember: Don’t look in the rearview mirror … you’re not going that way.