Highlights for Hustling for My Worthiness
- The simple solution to my Hot-Ass-Mess problem (0:40)
- I don’t have to prove my worth (and neither do you!) (2:10)
- Find the courage to rest and play (4:55)
- It’s always a good time to take great care of yourself (6:35)
- How about you? (8:50)
Hustling for My Worthiness
This may come as a shock to you, but I don’t have it all figured out – shocking, I know!
Sometimes I’m in my zone of organization and genius, and other times I’m a hot-ass mess.
This week was the hot-ass-mess kind … and I didn’t even know it until I was a heap of tears and irrational anger.
The Simple Solution to My Hot-Ass Mess Problem
Thankfully for me, my husband Dan is an expert Shawna Whisperer! He was able to troubleshoot the problem and provide a solution that even I, Life Coach Extraordinaire, didn’t see coming…
I needed a day off.
Like, a legit day off. No work of any kind.
I have been working so hard lately that I was burned out and didn’t realize it. Dan did … I didn’t.
And he ordered a Day of Shawna, which meant NO working. Just a day to clear out my mental clutter, reset myself, and do whatever I wanted and needed to do.
As he and I were talking about how long it’s been since I’ve had a day to myself or taken downtime, I realized that I had been hustling for my worthiness – aka, working really hard to try and prove that I’m good enough.
Even after all these years, and all the work I’ve done, I’m still a beautifully imperfect human being.
And I’m sharing this with you so that you can see the beauty in your imperfections and your mess, too.
I Don’t Have to Prove My Worth (and Neither Do You!)
After all my crying was done, I was able to see that I had been trying to prove it was okay that I quit my job, started my own business, and work from home.
Of course it’s okay! I’m doing it!
It has been harder than I thought it would be, but it’s been so rewarding at the same time. I’ve created a life where I can help people AND be there for my family. It’s amazing!!!
Still, the pressure I put on myself to “make it” is tremendous!
The thing is, “making it” is a vague term, anyway. It means different things to different people. For some, it’s luxurious vacations or private jets, while for others, it’s paying their bills and having food on the table, and there’s nothing wrong with either one of those.
By all accounts, I am making it … but I want more, and I want to prove that I can get to the next level of success.
But it wasn’t happening fast enough for me, so for the past few months, I’ve been pushing myself hard to get to that next level – creating new things, putting myself out there in different ways – and it was exhausting.
I’ve been working constantly to “make it” in order to be “worthy,” trying to prove that I made a good decision when I left my corporate job – 3 ½ years ago!
I am doing it! Here I am!
But somewhere along the line, a thought slid in that said I had to work even harder to be successful. That sneaky little thought crept into my head and set up camp without my knowing it.
That belief had been calling the shots for a while, causing me to doubt myself and feel less about my achievements, and it exhausted me in the process.
Working around the clock without actual downtime is a recipe for disaster, and a few days ago, I was that disaster. I was trying to prove that if I got to the next level – if I make more money, buy more comfort and cushion, etc. – that’s when I can rest.
I know that isn’t the path to where I want to go. I know it, and I coach people about it, and yet … when I’m not paying attention, these things sneak up on me, too.
Find the Courage to Rest and Play
“It takes courage to say Yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
I know this all too well! I did this when I got out of college and was working during the tax season. For 3½ months of the year, I was working from 7 a.m. to midnight, seven days a week.
And the longer I worked, the more respect and recognition I got: Highest billable hours – yes, ma’am! Earned the most comp time – you know it!
But then my boss didn’t want me to use the comp time I’d earned to take time off – he said I had to bill more hours. It was a vicious cycle, and I was the fastest hamster on that Wheel of Insanity!
I did take my time off after the super-busy tax season – to my boss’s dismay – and I eventually left because I got tired of sleeping in my clothes and having my sister do my laundry for me because I didn’t have time for normal things.
I was burned out. But back then, that was a status symbol for the environment I was in.
But that was then … this is now!
It’s Always a Good Time to Take Great Care of Yourself
Now I’m evolved, and I’m a coach … and it still happens when I’m not purposeful about how I spend my time.
We have to create downtime for ourselves.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a stay-at-home mom or a career woman, or anything in between, set aside some time for yourself.
Self-care isn’t only mani-pedis and massages – although they can be part of the fun. Self-care can be any of the following (many of these work well for me!):
- Getting enough sleep and rest
- Drinking lots of water
- Eating well
- Moving your body
- Time in the gym
- Sitting out in nature
- Going for a walk
I haven’t been doing any of those things lately, even though I know they are things that make me happy. I haven’t been an active participant in my life because I’ve been putting everyone else’s needs above my own.
That’s a sure sign that we’re hustling for our worthiness, that we’re trying to prove our worth – when we’re taking care of everybody else around us and putting ourselves last on the list … if we’re even on the list!
How About You?
Where are you hustling for your worthiness? Where are you seeking approval?
What are you really wanting? Do you want gold stars, permission to enjoy yourself, an award for making the right decision?
What if this was like in the Wizard of Oz, and you already have exactly what you need, you just don’t realize it?
This is your permission slip to be amazing!
This is your reminder that you are worthy and that you don’t need to prove anything to anybody else.
Give yourself permission to stop and smell the roses and take some time for yourself.
Give yourself the approval you crave and stop waiting for someone else to give it to you. You don’t need it from anybody else.
Stop hustling and start owning your greatness!