Highlights for How to Survive the Holidays with Your Family
- The Embellisher (0:40)
- The Ostrich (1:50)
- Mr. or Mrs. Rude (3:00)
- It’s time for Dysfunctional Family Bingo! (4:10)
How to Survive the Holidays with Your Family (or Other People Who Make You Crazy)
Well, another year has come and gone, and we are back at the holidays…
How can you come out of the holidays with your sanity intact and without a war on your hands?
Here are some practical ideas, tips, suggestions, and solutions to three common family holiday flareups.
The Embellisher
PROBLEM: Your mom is an Embellisher, and it drives you nuts to hear her say there were 20 people in line when you only saw 10.
SOLUTION: Don’t respond to everything she says. Yes, we know that you know stuff, but if your mother misquotes something or exaggerates or embellishes it, just let her run with it – it’s just a story.
She’s not presenting scientific research for a dissertation … she’s just telling a story. You don’t need to be a human fact-checker and interrupt and interject for everything that comes out of her mouth.
It will only cause friction with your mom, and – P.S. – it irritates and exhausts the shit out of everyone around you.
YOUR ESCAPE THOUGHT: I don’t have to prove her wrong. I will be ok.
If you think that thought, then you’ll be less likely to want to challenge and change her.
Here’s another one…
The Ostrich
PROBLEM: Your brother is an ostrich and buries his head in the sand about some important issues.
SOLUTION: Keep your opinions about your brother and his life to yourself … it’s none of your business. How he lives his life and what he chooses to see (or not see) is not up to you.
Your pointing out how he’s failing at life – according to your values and your life and your decisions and your criteria – IS NOT HELPFUL!
It will only cause your brother to dislike you … and probably not reach out to you when he really needs help because he doesn’t want to hear your judgment and other nonsense.
Keep your solutions and suggestions about his life to yourself.
YOUR ESCAPE THOUGHT: I have no idea what the right answer is for him or anyone. This is his path, and he has to walk it. If he wants my help, I will be there in an instant, but it’s up to him to come to me.
Okay, here’s one more…
Mr. or Mrs. Rude Says…
PROBLEM: Your uncle says you’ve gained some weight.
SOLUTION: Aside from wanting to throat-punch him 😊, I have some non-physical solutions…
In fact, I have a few solutions for this one, choose which one feels best to you.
Solution #1 – Walk away.
Solution #2 – Say, “That’s an interesting point of view.” Then you can either walk away or stand there and stare at him. Staring can be awkward, but it might be fun to watch him squirm.
Solution #3 – Say, “That’s rude AND none of your business. I’m very happy with myself.” Again, you can walk away or just stand there and stare.
YOUR ESCAPE THOUGHT: He does not determine my worthiness. Only I can do that, and I am pretty damn amazing!
Now, if that doesn’t make you feel good, I’m not sure what will!
Want More Help? Let’s Play Bingo!
Download my Dysfunctional Family Bingo game!
If your family is anything like my family, this will get you through anything. This is guaranteed to make any holiday gathering so much fun 😊
To everyone in the US, have a very happy and safe Thanksgiving!
And to the rest of you, Happy Tuesday!
xoxo,
Shawna
